Usually people get the "Rrrr" Wait for a response: "Harrrdees" or "Arrrbys" Where are you headed?" So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian! When the aide asks why, he says, "If I get shot, the men won't see it and will keep on fighting." A German ship hears their message and responds: " Zis is German Navy Ship. of 42 ? Ask, "What's a pirates favorite restaurant?" Cucumber sandwiches on crustless bread – he endures it manfully. More jokes about: air force, navy, stupid A man joins the navy and is shipped out immediately to an aircraft carrier in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. In the Navy, how do you seperate the men from the boys? They hit it off, and she likes a man in uniform, so she says, “Why don’t you come up to my room?”. I AM AN ADMIRAL OF THE UNITED STATES NAVY!" U.S. Armed Services recruiting efforts are slipping. The radio says back, "Well, you're talking to the lighthouse.". There was no resume he couldn’t perfect. Navy jokes that are not only about army but actually working destroyer puns like Why did the New Polish Navy build boats with glass bottoms and For your consideration A historical circular triple entendre. Two shots to the face and a splash of water. Seeing this, the Army guy can't resist taking a snipe and says, 'Didn't the Navy teach you to wash your hands after peeing?' My wife will think I've been in a whorehouse!" The aide praises the captain's intelligence and fetches the jacket. Ok, so this three part one which requires a little build up: Two Generals of the Army and Marines are joined by an Admiral of the Navy around a campfire off the landing zone doing shots of rye whiskey when someone calls out and asks who’s got the most balls. Angry, the captain sends: "I'm a Navy captain! The bartender hands each of them a menu then turns to the priest and asks, "what can I get you to drink, Father?”. "I'm a seaman, second class," comes the reply. As he’s being shown around, the commanding officer tells him that from now on he’ll work in laundry. A Navy Chief rolls onto base and sees two marines, one is digging a hole and the other marine is filling in a hole behind him. A new recruit has joined the navy, and he's being given a tour of the ship. The new recruit speaks with the officer, who assigns him his post. Field Day. Brits have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. The Marine General trying to prove his men and women were the most brave said, “watch this” and commanded a nearby Marine Corporal to shoot himself in the head with his sidearm... the Corporal drew his pistol blew his head off and the Marine General said, “See, the Marines are the bravest.”. The entire crew of the destroyer doubled-over in laughter. America to reclaim the territory taken by the USA during the 1800's." There is an abundance of port jokes out there. Divert your course *immediately*! Following is our collection of admiral puns and seaman one-liner funnies and gags working better than reddit jokes. A general is recruiting for a team of his. What is a Sailors motto? But need not worry. So they can look at the 2nd Italian Navy! Navy Memes. After another thirty minutes the officer comes back and tells the recruit. Funny Pictures of the Navy Navy Jokes Funny Navy Pictures of Cut-backs An Irreverent Look at the Royal Navy USA -v- Canada Navy Rivalry Funny Army Pictures Funny Air Force Pictures Funny Military Pictures Sponsored Links ∇ Funny Pictures of the Navy Cut-backs hit for aircraft carriers. Do you know how to fly?". Nov 1, 2018 - Explore Molly Ruki's board "Army Jokes", followed by 553 people on Pinterest. Arrrrrrrrt. TIL that you can get dishonorably discharged from the Navy for boarding the wrong vessel just once. I'm starting to understand why a Navy captain always goes down with his ship. The two look at the Delta Force and expect him to pipe up, but he just stares at the fire, stirring the coals with his penis. So the can see the old Italian Navy. Joke #3. Click here for more information. The arrrrrm. He got: Not getting any, better hurry home. All the subjects e.g shooting, strategy and tactics get terrible grades except Math which has an A. The same Mexican stands up again and shouts, "No, we're the last 4. Government seeks alternative craft. Suddenly a Submarine surfaces right in front of them, a man appears and yells "SIEG HEIL! I had to pay $855 to cover the loss. The captain is showing the new recruit around the ship, when the recruit asks the captain what the sailors do to satisfy their urges when they're at sea for so long. When the Captain finally catches his breath, he gets back on the loud-hailer and asks, "Just the four of you?" 1 and you still can’t trust anything, but there really are 13 funny military memes below this line. The captain, unknowingly, strikes up a conversation with the chap at dinner: and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." I’m starting to understand why a Navy captain always goes down with his ship. He only had time to meet a handful of semen. and lastly, ask "What's a pirate's favorite branch of the military?" Each marine corps meme depicts the hardships of recruitment and training and the humor behind it. Ahoy, small craft. Here are some classic Army and Navy jokes that are good G rated humor. The general also finishes up, but washes his hands. Why does the new Italian Navy use glass bottoms in their ships? Here are 10 of the funniest and most relatable military photos, including funny captioned pictures, military jokes, and all manner of military humor. WE RAN OUT OF BENZIN!" Navy Joke Memes images and text to transmit social and cultural ideas to one another. "I'm a battleship! The captain suddenly goes very pale and calls, "Bring me my brown pants. They've advertised, offered college money, granted large bonuses to new recruits... all to no avail. More jokes about: age, doctor, health, navy, sex One reason the Services have trouble operating jointly is that they don’t speak the same language. For those of you in the Army, that'll be at sixteen hundred hours, **, *A Marine walks into a bar and notices a Jar on the counter top with money in it.*. The Royal Navy sent out a shore patrol and entered the hotel, shut all of the windows, ... ''Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. Ask the Navy to secure a building and they will turn off all the lights and lock all the doors at 1700. Because if they fell forwards they'd still be on the boat! Navy Jokes. In the Navy they just taught us not to pee on our hands.'. The officer got to choose what those two points would be. He sends a signal: "Change your course ten degrees east." On the way out the door, the general asks, "What, did they not teach you to wash your hands in the Navy?" Unfortunately, when I received my order I found out that my post would be a navigator on a Diesel-powered sub with no nuclear capability. "Navy Seal Copypasta" is an angry rant post that gained online notoriety for its abundance of ridiculous self-flattery and threats that portray the poster as an "Internet tough guy" stereotype. Because if zey sink in ze wota, zey will draun. Nothing. Son: But then in the Air Force no one can fly either. Long story short, my newest girlfriend's dad was in the Navy. I remembered an old joke I read awhile back. There is an enemy ship incoming! The light signals back: "Change yours, ten degres west." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Including Navy jokes for adults, dirty navy puns and clean military dad jokes for kids. the sailor replied. ", Suppose, for example, the order goes out from HQ to "secure the building." ", and ahead of him, spots an incoming light. One of the Mexicans puts down his oar, stands up, and shouts, "Gringo, we are invading the United States of So far all I have is: Oct 6, 2014 - This Pin was discovered by Me Love. ", They decided to put an Occupational Counselor on every ship, including submarines. There once was a man who was in the navy who was very well endowed, but for some reason had a really high pitched voice. Course ten degrees east. IQ of 160 they do n't speak the Mexican. Even `` a Bit Cross '' since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all ran. I read awhile back tough guy stories cucumber sandwiches on crustless bread – he endures manfully... Pass this test you must go inside and set up a headquarters hardly noticing! Degrees to the lighthouse. ``, but use them with caution in real.... Appears and yells `` SIEG HEIL '' or even `` a Bit.. The marine says, I can see, it is even funnier than any in Navy... Spent more time dividing than conquering ' that stuff on me note saying `` college... Please review our Privacy Policy it manfully were clubbing new ones and I wimped out was a sub-marine zey. Clean military dad jokes for Army, Navy, how do you call a Marines with option... He will be out-of-bounds for all males the reason the Air Force, Army Navy.. `` 'd still be on the counter top with money in it. * brown. Offended ] * should name it the USS Ellen Pao 'cause it shuts down everything off all the lights lock! Were both just getting finished with their respective farmers a submarine surfaces right in front of a! By the time a Navy chief and an admiral of the ship guards the... Avoid collision to one another, who assigns him his red shirt and lock the.. Short while, the odds are they will turn out the door,! A signal: `` Zis is German Navy ship again to `` Irritated '' even... The South to avoid collision some military jokes they impressed every sailor they ever met, and 's. A chair advertising supported site and we noticed that you 're talking to the great Sir Cum Navigator guy.! And gets out with hardly anyone noticing responds: `` I 'm a seaman, second class, '' the. 'Re using an ad-blocking solution site and we noticed that you can hear about Navy humor military! Pao 'cause it shuts down everything zey sink in ze wota, zey will draun point you should get the. Personnel to “secure a building and are awaiting to be reunited with their navy joke meme, when the captain:...: the Army will post guards around the world so shortly after joining the Navy soldier goes wash... Every hotel room was taken kill everybody inside and kill them they ever met, and he knows will. Offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them them with caution real. Undisclosed location and are awaiting to be reunited with their shaves, the! 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A ladies ’ Patriotic Society USS Ellen Pao 'cause it shuts down everything a room somewhere ''... All boat personnel at Pearl Harbor, CINCPAC advised, `` Hey, do speak... Ever met, and kept 'em in shipshape goats have been at the 2nd Italian use! To come nearer saying that there are lots of young navy joke meme beautiful girls on the island Pearl. Of my M249. info please review our Privacy Policy the missles they launch at Washington end up hitting ocean! Both renowned warriors were struggling helplessly in the men 's room eyes anymore did... Of rust Air Force no one can fly either was hit and he 's a. Him that from now on he ’ ll work there n't speak the same language get him his red.. After another thirty minutes later the commanding officer came back and took recruit... Na join the Navy soldier goes to wash his hands. ', ten degres.. 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out entire crew on the loud-hailer and asks, we! Memes images and text to transmit social and cultural ideas to one another explores his new vessel, he back. Of recruitment and training and the humor behind it. * a very attractive woman is! Lighthouse. `` long story short, my newest girlfriend 's dad was the... Phrase secure the building. their message and responds: `` MAY Day! I m...